“Man, my favorite band to do nothing has actually done quite a lot!”
WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for some People to dissolve the Top 40 Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the quest for Music to which the Laws of Acoustics and the Power of Rhyme entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Quest.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that Music is universal, that it is endowed by its Creators with certain unalienable Elements, that among these are Rhythm, Dynamics, and Melody - That to secure these Elements, Bands are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Listeners, that whenever any Band becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the Listeners to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Band, laying its Foundation with such Instruments, and organizing its Songs in such Albums, as to them shall seem most likely to effect the creation of Art and Beauty. Inertia, indeed, will dictate that Musical Forms once established should not be changed for arbitrariness or Whimsy; and accordingly all Experience hath shown, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Bad Radio is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Radio to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Lousy Songs and Commercials, pursuing invariably the same Advertising Dollar, evinces such Drivel to reduce them under absolute Boredom, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Radio, and to provide new Music for their future.
We, therefore, the Representatives of M.O.S.C.O.W., in General Congress, Assembled, do by the Authority of our own Musicianship, solemnly Publish and Declare that this Band is, and of Right ought to be, a Melody-Making Freight Train of Wonder, that it is absolved from all Allegiance to good taste, and that all political Connection between it and the Major Record Labels is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Melody-Making Freight Train of Wonder, it has full Power to write Songs, lay down Phat Beats, borrow unabashedly from other Artists, and to do all other acts and things which Melody-Making Freight Trains of Wonder may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine copyright, we sit with each other, Four Grown Men in a Box.
released May 22, 2023
Created by four idiots, sitting in a room, doing something on August, 16th, 2004.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that Music is universal, that it is endowed by its Creators with certain unalienable Elements, that among these are Rhythm, Dynamics, and Melody - That to secure these Elements, Bands are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Listeners, that whenever any Band becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the Listeners to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Band, laying its Foundation with such Instruments, and organizing its Songs in such Albums, as to them shall seem most likely to effect the creation of Art and Beauty. Inertia, indeed, will dictate that Musical Forms once established should not be changed for arbitrariness or Whimsy; and accordingly all Experience hath shown, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Bad Radio is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Radio to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Lousy Songs and Commercials, pursuing invariably the same Advertising Dollar, evinces such Drivel to reduce them under absolute Boredom, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Radio, and to provide new Music for their future.
We, therefore, the Representatives of M.O.S.C.O.W., in General Congress, Assembled, do by the Authority of our own Musicianship, solemnly Publish and Declare that this Band is, and of Right ought to be, a Melody-Making Freight Train of Wonder, that it is absolved from all Allegiance to good taste, and that all political Connection between it and the Major Record Labels is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Melody-Making Freight Train of Wonder, it has full Power to write Songs, lay down Phat Beats, borrow unabashedly from other Artists, and to do all other acts and things which Melody-Making Freight Trains of Wonder may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine copyright, we sit with each other, Four Grown Men in a Box.
released May 22, 2023
Created by four idiots, sitting in a room, doing something on August, 16th, 2004.
Track listing: 1. Standing In The Road, 2. Little Buddy, 3. Benadryl Salak, 4. Apesh*t